Today is the 2 month mark until I leave for the MTC! I'M SO STINKING EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want it to come faster but at the same time I want time to slow down cuz I'm not ready yet. But I can't wait to serve.
Today is also the 2 year mark since my first kiss. I wish I could say I spent more time focusing on the fact that it's my 2 month mark, but I may possibly have spent more time thinking about this fact. It sucks. I don't want to be sappy or whiney or cheesy or whatever, but this dude was kind of a big part of my life. We pretty much decided we were going to get married, then things just didn't work out- which I'm so grateful. I'm so glad I'm not waiting for a missionary right now. I definitely would not be going on a mission if we hadn't ended things. I know things had to happen for a reason. But the hard thing is he was my first love and my only love so far. Try hard not to gag through this post. Even though it's gross. I know.
This time of year is really hard for me. 1) Because everyone starts to get all twitterpated and fall in love and I get jealous and 2) I always reminisce "Oh, 2 years ago from this exact moment he and I would be on our first date holding hands." and of course most recently "2 years from today we had our first kiss."
I don't want to think about him. I want to move on. But I gave him so much of me, it's kind of hard not to think of him. I also have a small hope that things may work out one day. But I don't know if I really want that to happen. My feelings are complicated.
I just listened to the song "My First Kiss". I had to today. Especially since my story fits so well into it. "My first kiss went a little like this. ( ) And miss. ( ) ( ) And miss." It's true. I missed his lips the first time we kissed. It was super embarrassing. The worst part is I didn't realize it til a couple days later.
Now that that's out, I've decided I'm going to leave it in the past and focus on what is ahead of me. 2 months ahead of me. Yikes!
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