Where's the RM Advice?

I can't believe I've been home from my mission for a year (I'm revising this now and I've been home TWO years). I've noticed before people go on missions they are not shy about asking for advice and what they should do to prepare before they leave...but I personally have never heard of anyone ask for advice when they come home. I think that recently returned missionaries need guidance on what to do when they come home- because coming home and being a completely new and improved person can be as scary as going to a completely unfamiliar place before the mission. Lots of my friends have come home recently or are about to come home, so I feel that now is a good time to share this letter with you recently (and not so recently) returned missionaries:

Welcome home! I know how heartbreaking it is to leave behind the people you’ve come to love so much and the place you’re finally starting to figure out and their culture and needs. I’m not writing you to make you feel discouraged, but to encourage you! But in all honesty, coming home is extremely hard if you don’t have anyone to relate with, but guess what? I have been home awhile and know how it is! I know exactly how you feel- desperately not wanting this part of your life to end, but excited to see what the future holds, and unsure how you’re going to apply the new you into your old life. I’m still trying to figure out a lot of things for myself, but I’m here to give you advice on what I’ve learned so far: 

1) When I got home, I wasn’t giving 100% of my time to the Lord and I felt so guilty about it. Unfortunately that isn’t our purpose anymore, but fortunately the Lord knows that. When you were a missionary, your purpose was to 

"invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end." 

You just spent a good chunk of your existence teaching people that God has a plan for their lives. The same is true for YOU! You may feel lost or confused as to what that plan is now because it isn't clearly laid out in a Returned Missionary Manuel, but Heavenly Father is waiting with outstretched arms to disclose this new plan for you. Fast and pray to find a new purpose for yourself. All you need to do is "Ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." The Lord knows your heart and He is yearning for you to come to Him and to teach you about your next step in life. He will reveal it to you! General Conference is coming up- that would be a VERY good time for him to reveal it to you. Be prepared to receive that from Him.

2) It’s okay to rest! 

"And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order." (Mosiah 4:27 )

When I first got back and didn’t have every second of the day planned, I felt guilty for sitting on the couch. But it really is okay to take a few minutes and to do nothing. That is very hard for the missionary mind to accept, but you don’t have to feel guilty about it. Don't idle away your time, but don't feel bad about taking a much needed break! I’ve learned that is the tool Satan uses on us RM’s- guilt and shame. Godly sorrow is good- guilt and shame… not so much.

3) Don't let peer pressure make you back down on your standards. People will tell you that you're awkward, need to loosen up and become "normal again". One time I went to a dance on campus and there were some things going on that I didn't necissarily agree with. There was fake gambling, fake tattoos, people drinking energy drinks and pretending like it was beer, dirty dancing, an oxygen bar that was supposed to simulate getting high. While I know that those things weren't exactly wrong, they were too close to the line for my liking and I couldn't back down on what I felt was right. Some of my pre-mission friends began mocking me because I didn't want to participate. They told me I was "still awkward" and "still in missionary mode." But I learned for myself that day that true peace and happiness comes from pleasing the Lord, not others.  
 

4) Please please please do not forget the Lord. I know that sounds ridiculously impossible after the amazing experiences you’ve had, but unfortunately Satan comes after you very strongly. Remember what it was like to turn to the Lord first thing after everything you did? After getting a new appointment- you said a silent prayer of thanks in your heart. Realizing you’re in an unsafe situation and you need to get out of it? You say a prayer pleading for safety, and the moment you are safe you pour out your heart in gratitude that the Lord protected you. When you don’t know what to say to help ease the pain of someone’s broken heart? You said a quick prayer to know what the Lord would want you to say. Would it not be great to continue that pattern of prayer after the mission? 

Satan  tries to make you feel like a failure for your mistakes. He makes you think “I’m an RM, I shouldn’t be doing this!” and worst of all he’ll make you think “I suck. I'm worthless. Why do I try anymore?” Remember, you will make mistakes, which is not fun, but remember the atonement is there for you as much as it is for your investigators. A few of my favorite verses in the Book of Mormon are in 2 Nephi 26:24-28 and part of verse 33:

 24 He doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world; for he loveth the world, even that he layeth down his own life that he may draw all men unto him. Wherefore, he commandeth none that they shall not partake of his salvation.

 25 Behold, doth he cry unto any, saying: Depart from me? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; but he saith: Come unto me all ye ends of the earth, buy milk and honey, without money and without price.

 26 Behold, hath he commanded any that they should depart out of the synagogues, or out of the houses of worship? Behold, I say unto you, Nay.

 27 Hath he commanded any that they should not partake of his salvation? Behold I say unto you, Nay; but he hath given it free for all men; and he hath commanded his people that they should persuade all men to repentance.

 28 Behold, hath the Lord commanded any that they should not partake of his goodness? Behold I say unto you, Nay; but all men are privileged the one like unto the other, and none are forbidden.

33 ...He inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile.

Use these feelings of godly sorrow to propel you forward instead of paralyze you. When I make a mistake, I try to ask myself "What would I say to Robert in this situation?" The answer is always “I would encourage him to keep going, the Lord loves him, and that because of the atonement, he can repent.” The same goes for us too, when we make mistakes. Just because we’re RM’s now, doesn’t mean we are suddenly super human and will be perfect from now on. And Heavenly Father knows that and has infinite patience with us. 

5) When you come back, you start to wonder if the work you did is acceptable to the Lord, if you could have done more, or if you made a difference. The Lord led me to read Alma 26:1-7 on the plane ride home. It brought peace to my heart and I knew all the people that I loved so much were in the Lord's hand and I didn't have to worry.

 1 And now, these are the words of Ammon to his brethren, which say thus: My brothers and my brethren, behold I say unto you, how great reason have we to rejoice; for could we have supposed when we started from the land of Zarahemla that God would have granted unto us such great blessings?

 2 And now, I ask, what great blessings has he bestowed upon us? Can ye tell?

 3 Behold, I answer for you; for our brethren, the Lamanites, were in darkness, yea, even in the darkest abyss, but behold, how many of them are brought to behold the marvelous light of God! And this is the blessing which hath been bestowed upon us, that we have been made instruments in the hands of God to bring about this great work.

 4 Behold, thousands of them do rejoice, and have been brought into the fold of God.

 5 Behold, the field was ripe, and blessed are ye, for ye did thrust in the sickle, and did reap with your might, yea, all the day long did ye labor; and behold the number of your sheaves! And they shall be gathered into the garners, that they are not wasted.

 6 Yea, they shall not be beaten down by the storm at the last day; yea, neither shall they be harrowed up by the whirlwinds; but when the storm cometh they shall be gathered together in their place, that the storm cannot penetrate to them; yea, neither shall they be driven with fierce winds whithersoever the enemy listeth to carry them.

 7 But behold, they are in the hands of the Lord of the harvest, and they are his; and he will raise them up at the last day.

I'm glad you're back and am positive that you will continue to be an instrument in the Lord's hands here. I promise the Lord still has plenty of work for you to do and that He is grateful for your service as a missionary.  

Sincerely, Trisha